We are having an amazing spring break adventure together as a family. We returned for the 4th year in a row to Hawks Cay resort in Florida keys. This place holds so many great memories, experiences and firsts for all of us. This year is no different- jay caught his first tarpon (45 minute fight- in and out of the bridges, 150 lbs!) Wills caught an elusive hog fish and conquered his fears as he swung on the rope swing into the ocean at our favorite kayak spot, I jumped 4′ waves in the ocean on a jet ski (with crying wills clinging to my back begging me to stop! Ya, right!) and Bennett enlightened us all with the fact that, “every hour is happy hour here.”

It has also been hard to be in such a happy carefree place when our current circumstances seem anything but this. I can’t help but watch all the families enjoying such happy ease. Thinking about how our life has changed and how badly I wished for these happier times.

But then I look around and think – we are living the same life. I feel great, the boys couldn’t be happier, jay and I have an even deeper love having again faced the beast that is cancer.

Cancer does not win. I am taking back my vacation, my life and OUR future. I refuse to lose another day of this amazing life with our amazing family being a scared cancer victim. I am a cancer survivor- as I have been for the past 7 years. It is a part of who I am. (But Hopefully my April PET scan will show it isn’t a part of any new spots on my bones) But, it is only a PART of who I am. I am more than cancer. I have big plans with my 3 boys and I intend to be back here to the Florida keys many times.

Right now I have to put some squid on a hook and catch some dinner. One day at a glorious, palm tree swaying time.

It’s “happy hour”
Lara

I’ve been doing this week on my own because Jay had to fly to Finland for a couple days. (just like the good ol’ days!) It has been really nice to just “do” life- make breakfast, ask the boys 5 times to brush their teeth, clean up puppy puddles, pack lunch boxes, etc… These are the everyday moments of life. Moments I cherish so much deeper now. I’ve decided a couple things: 1. We are not using the word terminal when we talk about my diagnosis. I am not dying from this disease right now. I am living with this disease. 2. We are living each day in joy. If you see me around town please just laugh and talk with me like normal. I appreciate the hugs and concern. but no more tilted head, sad eye greetings. 3. We have a lot of people’s stuff I will never be able to find the owner to- Tupperware, pots, children’s clothing you let the boys borrow, etc… If we have something of yours please text me and l will look for it. 4. This is my sincere thank you to all those who have sent gifts, meals, flowers. I am usually really good at thank you notes. But, not this time. Please know we are grateful for your support. 5. I am living with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. Living!! We won’t really know more about my disease progression or stabilization until a pet scan at the end of April. Pain will also be my guide- if I start having pain we know we have a problem. But, for now, I am pain free!! 6. We are going to the Florida keys for spring break in a couple weeks. We are not taking cancer with us. Just our family of four, lots of healthy food, bathing suits and some fishing poles. Love!!