Colors of Courage

“There is a lot of love in this yard” said a friend to me Friday night at our Colors of Courage event. The culmination of a lot of hard work (and a very welcome distraction from treatment) came to a point as an amazing event in support of hope scarves and women facing cancer.

The hope scarves event was “the best yet…” A line we have found ourselves saying each of the past 3 years! We had a sell out crowd with over 500 people, most everything we ate and drank was donated- right down to the mint infused makers mark specialty cocktail. The weather was perfect, the music toe tappin and the laughter rang through the trees.

At one point I walked up onto the porch and just stood quietly taking it all in. Thankful to be healthy enough to run around and worry about details like cute paper straws and auction item props. Thankful for 542b4e18cb16b4f10caf696aso many friends and family who traveled from around the US to show their support, thankful that my little idea has become something so many people care about and find important enough to support. Thankful to have friends who spend hours working on this event and even open up their home to make it happen. Thankful for a husband who will do anything for me- from holding my hand during chemo to picking up light towers and bourbon barrels on opposite ends of town. Thankful. Thankful. Thankful.

I am humbled to have so much support and will remember this evening my entire life (hopefully that is a very long time!) I found myself very sad at some points of the evening. Wishing I was as happy as I was at this event last year. Wishing I was as carefree as so many of the smiling faces around me. But, then I just looked around again and realized life is precious. These are the moments that make up our story – none of us truly know where our story will take us. In that moment I was happy, proud, carefree and hopeful.

I continue to feel great! Running, biking, working full time, planning my next adventures. I am so grateful to add Friday night and our Colors of Courage event to my story.

I look forward to the next chapter with hope.

To see pictures from our event please click here:

Stable Scan!

Stable scan!!!!

The best news you can hope for with stage 4 cancer is a stable scan. That’s what we got today. Feeling relief and joy as we grow in confidence that my body is responding to treatment.

541c6dbfac7ee99e462e68a2Thank you for all your prayers, messages and good juju. We feel an army of people following us and surrounding us with Gods grace as we face these scary times through our journey with cancer.

jay and I went out for breakfast while we waited for the news and then I had two meetings at hope scarves. Now in celebration and I am spending the afternoon planting fall pots. A favorite activity of mine! Might even pop a little veuve clicquot tonight. Most of all I will hug my three boys super tight and be thankful for more happy times ahead.

I hope you will do the same today- hug a loved one, call a friend, hold a door open. Be grateful and celebrate because life is precious.

With hope!

PET scan tomorrow

This morning after carpool drop off I met up with a new “mom friend” and we biked to Indiana. ¬†It was a beautiful morning filled with some of my favorite things – exercise, making new friends and sunshine. ¬† ¬†Tomorrow morning after carpool drop off I have a PET scan. ¬†This is the difficult reality I live in. ¬† Trying to embrace each day and live the life I love, while also living with stage 4 breast cancer.

On the outside I look totally healthy. ¬†I am running around like crazy planning for Hope Scarves’¬†sold out annual event, Colors of Courage next Friday. ¬†I smile and laugh and joke around. ¬†I think it confuses people who know I am “sick” but yet see me haul 3 garbage cans of yard waste and 2 recycling tubs to the curb in my running clothes. ¬†Frankly, it confuses me too.

One thing is certain, tomorrow I will have a PET scan that will show us what the cancer is doing inside me. ¬†Our hope is it will be a stable scan. ¬† No progression. ¬†And, we will continue my current treatment plan. ¬†If it shows progression we will still go to Will’s soccer tournament this weekend, cheer on Bennett at his soccer game and laugh and joke around. ¬†Because, as I keep telling myself, this is just information. ¬†I don’t have to feel any worse physically than I do right now just because I get bad news. ¬†Bad news doesn’t mean I am dying any quicker. ¬†It means we have to try a different combination of drugs. ¬† It means I hug my 3 boys even tighter.

I am happy.  I am trying to adjust to living with metastatic disease and what that means.  Weekly I read about others facing metastatic disease who have significant progression or like a friend of one of my Michigan summer friends, who left this earth far too soon because of this disease this week.  It is an awful, unfair reality to have stage 4 metastatic disease.  But, I hold. on. to. hope.   And I will hold on even tighter tomorrow morning.

I will write an update when we know results of the scan.

with hope,