Passing of time… the days to come

The dawn of this new day also brings the start of a new year & a new decade.  What a brilliantly new wide open beginning.  The possibility, the potential…

The Fear.

One of the first things that came to mind for me as my eyes opened to the newness … will this be the year I get sick?   Will this be the decade that I die?  Statistically speaking, probably.  Yet, that’s no way to “fresh start.”

I shake off the worries and take a deep breath.

When you live with unknown of stage 4 cancer wide open possibilities are tinged with fear.   Dreaming of the future is hard… our oldest son graduates from high school in just three years… will I be there?  New Year’s resolution- Be healthy… Don’t die.   What new talent would you like to learn?  Ukulele – seems manageable given my time constraints. Only 15 more years until retirement dreams are realized … should I even consider this as a possibility?  Lighthearted New Years conversations – daggers in my heart.

And, my biggest heartbreak… the reality that as time slips away so does this chapter of good health, adventure & laughter.   This past decade was a warp speed roller coaster.  Some days seemed to last forever (like those spent waiting for doctor appointments).  Despite the pain we laughed and traveled and loved. Years slipped by in the blink of an eye.  Our little boys grew taller than me.  “Mama, Mama, Mama”  transformed from an annoyance to an echo I long to hear just once more.

How do we balance the passing of time with the anticipation of what is to come?

We live one breath at a time.

And, we celebrate what is known:

  • We are surrounded by love
  • Each day is a gift
  • Our hope is not contingent
  • Struggle is part of the story
  • We are the authors of our lives… living a great story.

3-2-1 … Jump!

In this new year I am embarking on a new chapter professionally & creatively.

I am jumping into an initiative to expand my writing and connections … My Hopeful Life will soon not only be this blog but also a podcast, speaking events, social media and eventually, a book. Anchored by the short film, The Lara MacGregor story.

I hope to create a safe place for vulnerability & hope.  A place where we can share our stories and find common ground to celebrate all of our Hopeful Lives.

 

 

Together we will accept the passing of time with gratitude, live intentionally in each moment and be open to what is to come.

Here goes.

Happy New Year!

 

 

2 replies
  1. Barb Aardema
    Barb Aardema says:

    I have been hoping your posts would become a book. Your narratives have been informative, insightful, scary, but most of all hopeful. Blessings in all new iterations of My Hopeful Life, and new adventures yet to come.

    Reply
  2. Lynn
    Lynn says:

    I was diagnosed March 2013. My niece gave me a piece of a Hope scarf intertwined in a gold bracelet 2013. I don’t remember getting a story with it. She wanted to do something without putting a “Scarlet A”on me, put me in a category. This may be when you were starting

    out. Your thoughts today are what I hope to aspire. I try to each day, but life gets in the way. I feel one day I will probably be MBC. But try not to be negative. Y THank you!

    Reply

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