Passing of time… the days to come
The dawn of this new day also brings the start of a new year & a new decade. What a brilliantly new wide open beginning. The possibility, the potential…
The Fear.
One of the first things that came to mind for me as my eyes opened to the newness … will this be the year I get sick? Will this be the decade that I die? Statistically speaking, probably. Yet, that’s no way to “fresh start.”
I shake off the worries and take a deep breath.
When you live with unknown of stage 4 cancer wide open possibilities are tinged with fear. Dreaming of the future is hard… our oldest son graduates from high school in just three years… will I be there? New Year’s resolution- Be healthy… Don’t die. What new talent would you like to learn? Ukulele – seems manageable given my time constraints. Only 15 more years until retirement dreams are realized … should I even consider this as a possibility? Lighthearted New Years conversations – daggers in my heart.
And, my biggest heartbreak… the reality that as time slips away so does this chapter of good health, adventure & laughter. This past decade was a warp speed roller coaster. Some days seemed to last forever (like those spent waiting for doctor appointments). Despite the pain we laughed and traveled and loved. Years slipped by in the blink of an eye. Our little boys grew taller than me. “Mama, Mama, Mama” transformed from an annoyance to an echo I long to hear just once more.
How do we balance the passing of time with the anticipation of what is to come?
We live one breath at a time.
And, we celebrate what is known:
- We are surrounded by love
- Each day is a gift
- Our hope is not contingent
- Struggle is part of the story
- We are the authors of our lives… living a great story.
3-2-1 … Jump!
In this new year I am embarking on a new chapter professionally & creatively.
I am jumping into an initiative to expand my writing and connections … My Hopeful Life will soon not only be this blog but also a podcast, speaking events, social media and eventually, a book. Anchored by the short film, The Lara MacGregor story.
I hope to create a safe place for vulnerability & hope. A place where we can share our stories and find common ground to celebrate all of our Hopeful Lives.
Together we will accept the passing of time with gratitude, live intentionally in each moment and be open to what is to come.
Here goes.
Happy New Year!
I have been hoping your posts would become a book. Your narratives have been informative, insightful, scary, but most of all hopeful. Blessings in all new iterations of My Hopeful Life, and new adventures yet to come.
Thanks for your words of encouragement, Barb. The reinforcement is so treasured as a I step into this unknown space. I love to write but suddenly when you put it out there as a goal to write a book it has become so much scarier!!
I was diagnosed March 2013. My niece gave me a piece of a Hope scarf intertwined in a gold bracelet 2013. I don’t remember getting a story with it. She wanted to do something without putting a “Scarlet A”on me, put me in a category. This may be when you were starting
out. Your thoughts today are what I hope to aspire. I try to each day, but life gets in the way. I feel one day I will probably be MBC. But try not to be negative. Y THank you!
Oh yes, you are the lucky owner of a limited addition Hope Scarf bracelet – made of scarves that don’t work as headcovers. We don’t make them anymore so it’s a collectors item (ha-ha!). Those don’t come with stories, just our Hope Scarves. But, each time you wear it, or see it remember you are part of the sisterhood of the traveling scarves. Thousands of women living life over cancer.
Live one day at a time. Don’t live in the perceived future where the worry of tomorrow taints today. Today you do not have MBC. Live today fully and gratefully!
I’m glad my writing and our work helps you aspire to live more intentionally – that makes me smile.
God
faith
Inspiration
Hope and Love .
Centered…….is the core of my very being.
Diagnosis ovarian cancer.
Not sure what to expect from chemo,
God got me through 7 1\2
Surgery, 15 day hospital stay. 4 transfusions , unable to eat for 11 days, dehydration, 20 lb wt. Loss , laparoscopy surgery,
Over 25 days on antibiotics. C-dif.
Port implant.
I believe he will get me through, the upcoming chemo.
God bless all of you on your journey ❤
One day at a time. Sounds like you have been through so much already with more to come. I’m grateful we can support each other.