For those that know me… they know I’m not really all about the “pinkness” that comes along with breast cancer. However, this weekend I was tremendously proud of the pinkness.  I was honored to become a “Pink Power Mom” through the KidsII Foundation.  KidsII is the third largest manufacturer of kids gear – bright starts, baby einstein, oball, taggies, etc… Their foundation selects 8 moms each year who have faced breast cancer and are doing something positive to help others in the same position.   I met 6 amazing moms all doing creative and meaningful work all over the country.  One of the moms passed away before she could accept the award.  But, what a remarkable person she was.   The weekend was hard for me because at times I found it hard to “Celebrate.”  Unlike the other honorees – I can’t say I beat breast cancer anymore.  I am fighting it.   I am fighting hard.

I came up with a new perspective over the weekend.  For me, it’s not about life after cancer or life beyond cancer (which I used to say all the time).  But, Life OVER cancer.  There is life in the middle of cancer.  There are precious moments of life every day- from a child’s hug to laughter with friends.  This is what I celebrate.  and fight for.   I also came home from this weekend with a renewed commitment to see Hope Scarves grow in capacity and awareness around the country.  I want so badly to feel well enough to see this happen!  I love sharing our mission with others and seeing people excited about our work!

Most of all, we enjoyed the weekend in Atlanta as a family!  It was also bennett’s 6th birthday weekend.  So, we had LOTS to celebrate!  KidsII pampered us with gifts and treats all weekend. I think the boys were expecting turn down service last night with chocolates on their beds… ha!  The boys did the aquarium, legoland and ordered room service.  We had a babysitter Sat. night to attend the Pink Power mom Gala to accept a $5,000 check for hope scarves!

Today we are headed to Vanderbilt to meet with a doctor who specializes in metastatic breast cancer in young women.  I love my two rockstar doctors, but we are hoping to get additional information and input on the best next steps to fight this.   I’m exhausted and really missing life as we knew it.  We were supposed to go on a ski trip next week, I am supposed to be training for the mini marathon.  I am supposed to be going to the Young Survivors Conference in Orlando next week to share Hope Scarves.  Or not.  I guess right now we are supposed to fight cancer.   That’s the thing… you never know what twists and turns lie ahead of you on your journey.  It’s just the way you face your journey that matters.   I am trying hard not to mourn the life we had or be jealous of everyone moving forward in their lives.  I am going to focus on LIFE OVER CANCER.

I know there is much more to this journey.

with hope,
Lara

I’m feeling pretty rotten from the radiation, but I keep reminding myself that means it’s working.  I am exhausted, weak and don’t have much appetite since everything seems to disagree with my stomach (no need for details).   Of course, many mom’s I know are exhausted these days because we seem to be in a never ending routine of snow days.  C’mon mother nature, these children need to learn!!  Today I was determined to not lay on the couch and let the kids wear down the ipad batteries.   So, we played Sorry, read books, played basketball, made valentines and at times it almost felt “normal.”  Thank goodness Jay took them to soccer tonight so I could rest!

This past weekend we had a ball as a family.  My brother and his girlfriend, Lindsay, came down from Chicago, my parents were here and my lifelong childhood best friend Laura came down from Michigan too. (Sad how illness can bring you together.  Get together for happy reasons people. Or no reason at all. Just do it!)  Despite my fatigue we cheered on both the boys in their basketball games (bleachers are much more comfortable with a big pillow).  Bennett’s team was down by 1 at the buzzer.  He threw up a hale mary shot from half court.  Of course it only went 3 feet, but the intensity and effort was great.  Wills’ game came down to the wire too with him shooting two free throws with seconds left to put their team in the lead.   I LOVE these minutes of cheering for them I hope I get to see many more big moments like these.

Sunday we hosted the “Super Bennett Bowl” to celebrate Bennett’s 6th birthday.  30 kids in our neighborhood park.  It was awesome.  I have always loved birthday parties – so the planning, decorating and being surrounded by friends brought me so much happiness.  I think this one might have been my best yet – even better than Will’s 4th when we had two ponies in our backyard 2 weeks after my mastectomy.   I thrive under pressure!  Ha!!  This family picture was taken right before the big game!

I am anxiously anticipating an appointment tomorrow morning with my oncologist.  We will make a plan for the next step of my treatment including hormone therapy and possible surgery to remove my ovaries.  I am also hoping he will encourage me that the pain I am still feeling is normal and that the radiation is going to keep working until this pain is gone!  Hoping to also know when my next scan will be to see if the cancer is anywhere else.

If the weather and radiation side effects don’t hinder us, we are headed to Atlanta this weekend for me to receive an award.  The Pink Power Mom Foundation selected me to be one of 8 women this year who are being honored for the work they have done as breast cancer survivors to help others.  Hope Scarves will receive a $5000 check (wahoo!) and I get to network with a bunch of really cool moms doing amazing things to help others.  I am so hoping I feel strong enough to make the most of the weekend. I have the perfect outfit from Clodhoppers for the Gala!

As always, thanks for the meals, cards, texts, prayers and so much more!  I can’t respond to them all, but please know I appreciate the ongoing support and feel carried through this journey by your kindness and prayers.

with hope,
Lara