Acceptance

One of the biggest things I have had to do over the past 6 weeks is accept the reality that I have stage IV cancer.  Accept the reality that doctors don’t know how to cure this disease and don’t necessarily agree how to treat it.  Accept the idea that every person is different and every cancer cell is different and we simply don’t know what mine will do.

I learned to embrace my current situation.  In doing so, I have found an immense amount of peace.  I love my life and the laughter it holds, the joys, the adventure and the love.  Now I also embrace this new reality of stage IV cancer. Am I giving up, HECK NO!  I am living life with this diagnosis.    I read this morning that “Life doesn’t start when this, that or the other thing is resolved.  Life is now and it is great.”   Isn’t that the truth.

I recognize there isn’t a “magic pill” to make my cancer go away.  I’m sure oncologists aren’t holding out against wheat grass because they just love to give people chemo.  But, at the same time I simply can’t (CAN NOT) believe it when doctors tell me “you are doing all the right things Lara. You exercise, eat right, get plenty of rest, stay positive, don’t smoke, etc… Just keep doing what you are doing.”  Hello!  Clearly, that isn’t working for me.  I am a person of action and I have to believe there are things I can do that can help make my body stronger and better equipped to fight off this cancer.  I have to believe I am doing SOMETHING that helps me live as long as possible.  I can’t have any regrets.

So, I’m on a wellness journey.  I’m researching, learning, networking – trying to understand what I can do to strengthen my body, mind and spirit.  I know my spirit is already so much stronger as I embrace this cancer.  I believe I can make my body stronger with even healthier foods.   I’m like Norm on Cheers when I go into the Life Bar.  “Hi Lara!” and I pull up my favorite bar stool.   Who knows if any of this will work… If I can stop my cancer from growing or spreading.    What I do know is I have to feel like I am in control of something and that my actions are helping to save my life.

I won’t go into detail about all the things that are out there.  I hopefully won’t become so far flung in my ideas that no one wants to have us over for dinner.  I am connecting with people who are living life to the fullest while also revamping the way they eat and face their treatments.  There are some amazing women with the same ideas that I have and I’m excited to have them by my side on this journey.

Today is a great day. I feel empowered to make my body healthy.  I am excited to watch our boys play basketball and just spend time together as a family.  I will go for a long walk and feel the strength returning to my bones and muscles.

And I will live this glorious day with joy in my heart, cancer in my bones and hope in in my spirit.
Lara